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WORDSMITH
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#1 Apologetic Dialog Empty Apologetic Dialog
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I mentioned this briefly in my thread about breaking the 4th wall, and thought I would expand on it.

Apologetic dialog happens when you aren't really confident about what you are writing. It is dialog that doesn't really have a backbone, doesn't express itself strongly enough. So instead of writing something meaningful, opinionated, or emotional, you end up writing something that basically "apologizes" for your lack of creativity. Sometimes this takes the form of very plain dialog, such as "hi" or "..." Other times it is more of an actual apology. An NPC might say, "This town doesn't look very good, does it?" Unless you have intentionally made the town look crummy, this is your way of saying "sorry" for my poor mapping skills.

Apologetic dialog detracts from the overall feel of a game. When you have NPCs who apologize for being boring, the player, not surprisingly, gets bored.

One of the hallmarks of RPGs are exploration. You can explore rooms you don't have to, find optional treasure, and talk to people you don't have to. Now if your story is about finding an ultimate treasure, but every optional piece of treasure you find sucks, you are going to have a hard time, as the player, getting stoked about that grand piece of treasure you are seeking. You won't trust the game maker to deliver something awesome. So let's use that as an analogy for dialog. If every bit of NPC dialog is boring, the player is not going to trust your dialog skills for the main characters either. Whatever you make the main characters say won't feel quite right because the minor characters, who in theory are their neighbors, colleagues, and so forth, appear to be living in a very different and boring world compared to the heroes.

Apologetic dialog doesn't only come from NPCs. It can easily come from main characters as well. When this happens, it is almost like you, as the game creator, are saying, "I really want this story to be good... I really want to say something meaningful, but I don't think I can do it." So instead, you make your characters brush things aside with statements like, "Well let's just go." Well, by doing that, you just showed us how you really feel about your game. Just get on with it; this idea or this emotion isn't really worth exploring. That is what you are saying. How can we feel the injustice of an emperor destroying innocent lives? How can we feel the nervousness of getting separated from loved ones? You have to set aside time in the story for your characters to have realistic reactions to the difficulties they face.

The way to get around apologetic dialog is to get in touch with what your characters are feeling. If you know how they feel, you will be able to find appropriate dialog. The difficulty, then, is being confident that you can write good dialog. Writing dialog isn't the same kind of skill as programming. It is far more abstract and unorganized. It is intimidating to say something emotional, meaningful, etc., because it opens you up to criticism. Apologetic dialog works as a buffer against criticism. It apologizes ahead of time in case someone doesn't like what you wrote. And it makes a game feel very dry.

So if you realize that you have been apologizing, try going back through your dialog and making it more bold. More heartfelt. More powerful.

-CS
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EVENTALIST
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#2 Apologetic Dialog Empty Re: Apologetic Dialog
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mr_wiggles

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Liking these story tips, keep em coming if you have any more.
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WORDSMITH
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Thanks Wiggles. I could say the same thing about all your nifty scripts. Smile

-CS
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BluE

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Useful tips CS. In the case that you do have a crummy map (not on purpose) and instead of having a NPC say "this is a really crummy town", could you make him say that "this town is possibly the most awesomely architected town in the whole world"? Irony or something
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WORDSMITH
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Sure thing Blue. If irony is what you are shooting for. Making fun of yourself can be different than apologizing; you just have to make sure it comes across that way to the player. I would suggest that if you are shooting for a serious game, then avoid that kind of comment all together though. Part of not apologizing is to let the player develop their own opinions about the maps.

-CS
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supercow

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thx for the tips its very usefull, im usually not comfortable reading a lot of words jumbled together Laughing but these are quite easy to read and understand Razz
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G@MeF@Ce

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what about a 40 year old man
dressed in wrinkled clothing telling his date
(which happens to be younger and very beautiful)

"Sorry, my mom forgot to do my laundry?"
geek


@cs - pardon my French, but your writing tuts are tha shizznit! Razz

thanks for sharing, this will definitely inspire writers to exercise their skills and others to start writing.

like wiggles said

mr_wiggles wrote:Liking these story tips, keep em coming if you have any more.

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WORDSMITH
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#8 Apologetic Dialog Empty Re: Apologetic Dialog
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Haha, it is fine if characters apologize to other characters for things in game. The goal is to make sure that you, the creator aren't apologizing.

-CS
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