LOL, those are pretty much equal. I think I'd have to go with no teeth though.

Would you rather be eaten alive or burned alive?

PS: I thought I would share this since it is related.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JT-Uej1PA0

Seeing as the thousands of people in the Middle Ages managed to see being burnt alive better than being eaten alive, I'd say I'd rather be burnt seeing as it's quicker and even primitive "barbaric civilizations" prefer it.

Would you rather you laptop have a broken screen and you have to hook it up to an old LCD or broken keyboard and attach it to a USB keyboard?

keyboard! usb ~ wireless!

would you rather take your mom or your dad to a dance club?

My dad. Atleast he understands "male culture".

Would you rather be gluten intolerant or be allergic to dairy (both severely)

gluten ~ that was a tough one.

would you rather have a smart yet ugly girlfriend or extremely dumb yet very beautiful wife.

If this girlfriend is smart enough to get tonnes of cash from her discoveries in quantum science, I pick the girlfriend. If this wife is beautiful enough to get tonnes of cash from photoshoots and other things, I take her. So, I think I'll take the wife and the girlfriend because the wife will be too dumb to know that I'm cheating on her.

Would you rather be the creator of WoW or Bear Grylls?

WoW ~ (Bear Grylls? I was about to google it)

would you rather have neighbors that are noisy and share food or ones that are quiet and asks for food?

The noisy ones.
Would you rather kill yourself than listen to this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC0cvwnG0Ik

there are always alternatives than to kill yourself C:

Would you rather Portal 2 or Battlefield 3?